Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. 1. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. "How old are you?" There are a lot of noises and smells you cant explain. How did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails? ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. Thank you!Rose? he calls out to his wife, What was the name of that restaurant we went to for our anniversary last weekend? Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. ""Wow, you don't look that old," the boy said. Bob at first was reluctant to go there. "Real good," he said. As you get older, you dont need to become so serious. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen. "Where's your hair?" Honey, she said, today is senior day. ", "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra. WebA diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. The next week, John is much happier. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them. Your age! It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!". While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. You are one candle closer to starting a house fire. Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. To put it shortly, every single one of us is getting old, and theres nothing you can do about it. The tenant shook her head. The old man slyly looked at him and said, Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. Someone who will wear something just to look different, I said. "What are you doing?" They both come out at night. Funny jokes about getting old. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. Your age because it goes up 3 years ago A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor. In the UK it is 70. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. David Emis the founder of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law. His thoughtful reply: When I wasnt good, and I wasnt old. F. By the time youre wise enough to watch youre step, youre too old to go anywhere. Theyll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses. My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. "Id have One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. Learn more about Box of Puns. "My knees, my elbows, my neck ", The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. My doctor told me to start exercising so I joined aerobics for seniors. Note: this post originally had 133 images. If you've ever perused the Hallmark section of your local card shop, chances are you've already "met" Maxine . 10. Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. ! Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting exposition in Africa. I've always been a disappointment. "So was Santa good to you?" The best getting old jokes 1. Now you won't have to worry about cramps when you go for a swim. We finished the day with a banana split. Ooops! I'm having a bit pre-dementia breakdown reading them . I stopped and asked him what was wrong. I asked. When the couple finished, the Doctor said Theres nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse. And he charged them $10.00. Please check link and try again. A doctor told my 90 year old aunt to stop buying green bananas. Wont even look at a cow. Take him to the vet, his friend suggested. Halfway across, hes startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. It wasn't to be. When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband,"How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles? His reply: "We'll I just didn't recognize you!". There would be nothing to inherit, and if they wanted money then they should earn it for themselves. 21. "This thing is great," he bragged to my brother. ", I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friendnew to the city asked where he could meet some singles. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. "Fifty-eight," answered the patient, eyeing the beeping device on her finger. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. Yes! I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman. ""A tulip? Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. OK, dear, but Id like you to put some whipped cream on top. The bartender put the change in the tip cup. The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. "No, it's Thursday", said the second. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. You know youre getting old when the rocking chair feels like a roller coaster. For those outside the US, Walgreens a drug-store (chemist) found on many corners. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them. I was having lunch with my daughter Rachel, who's three, at our local mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old. You know you are getting older when the candles dont fit on the cake. he said. In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. 30 Fun Old People Jokes That Can Be Appreciated By Everyone Aivaras Kaziukonis, Just Kairyt - Barkauskien, Darja Zinina and Saul Tolstych Getting old isnt The clerk shot back, "We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets." Just think of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I suggested. Does it hurt? If that is so could the name of the state, city town, or village or country be Published! In the hardware store, a clerk asked, Can I help you find anything? How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. The man leading them around said, See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? When the operator answers she yells, Help, send the police to my house right away. Grandpa, what are you doing? he exclaimed. Did Moby Dick enjoy his birthday? After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". "Well," says Mr. Smith, "I dont My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding of a childhood friend when she ran into people she hadn't seen in years. On wife's birthday , man ordered a cake on the phone. Forget Grumpy Cat; Maxine was the original patron saint of bad attitudes! She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. 9 Likes, 5 Comments - Inspiring Art & Creativity! Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, hes too old to go anywhere. Ouch, this was some seriously rough honesty. I have to go to the bathroom.. Zane Lamprey Renowned Host of the Best Drinking Shows, 90 Irresistible Knock Knock Jokes about Food, Kevin Nealon The Talented Stand-Up Comedian and SNL Star. The seventy-year old man says, I have this problem. Isnt that the darnedest time for a guy to get those odds? "Easy," she said. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right? Ive always been a disappointment. When I was in high school, I wore Birkenstocks. Hes like a machine! Congratulations on being born a really long time ago. I dont know, he said. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, Post Something You Baked Recently. Related: 2022s Best Senior Jokes About The 4th Of July. Halfway across, hes startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. "You should never ask an adults age," I broke in. What do stars and dentures have in common? My grandson got the same shoes as me because theyre retro. When she got him back to his room and sat him down, he took a deep breath and announced, "That was great! One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!". "For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd love to be ten again." "You've got to be kidding," he said. Holiday Inn charges $22.00, the Hilton charges $27.00, we do it here for $10.00 and I get $8.00 back from Medicare for every visit to the Doctors office. 18. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Now that I'm getting older I get social security sex. You have wisdom-highlights, not grey hairs. Why should I pay someone to shovel? he demanded. It took me only an hour and a half to "Everything's starting to click for me!" When my 85-year-old father was in the hospital, his doctor, trying to determine Dads mental state, asked, What gets you up in the morning? My father shrugged. "Every night I take my teeth out at six oclock. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. ", An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. I like having conversations with kids. They both come out at night! Im baldwell, balding. The cardiologists diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. Margaret Deland. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before. Dont worry about avoiding temptation. How long exactly? Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on? he asked again. ===))> .., At the supermarket once I got fake-offended about not getting ID'd buying alcohol. Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. Please feel to send me your suggestions and feedback through the contact form. T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?. Its taped under the modem, I told him. He even stands right outside the kitchen and yells What's for supper? and still, no answer. While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. Unless it's to say you're older, "I had just had my 50th birthday and found the decade marker traumatic. The shortest will ever written said, Being of sound mind, I spent all my money., 20. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You're a kid?". She leaned across to her husband and whispered, Ive just let go a silent fart. They all look like that.. As your good looks fade, so will their eyesight. ", The biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an elderly woman. Hes like a machine! What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. And yes, you can get passport photos there (in someone of them). After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. 11. The older man started to tilt slowly to the right. They were afraid that this could be The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. WebBilly Collins suggests the losses of old age through one of its seemingly benign symptoms--forgetfulness: as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain No wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war. Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. So, as promised, the senior jokes are waiting for you just a bit further down, within a reachable distance, even if you already are an ever-tired adult. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. Little by little, pinch-by-pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Now we just lay on the bed and tie each others shoes. The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows! he told his pal. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the safety bar in the bathtub. "The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. "I filled the car with gas in February.". When I was 60, I prayed for it. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in An IBM exhibit in New York City portrayed the advancement in technology of statistical and calculating machines from the abacus to the computer. she asked. Then he remembered what Id said and confidently called out, Acura! Linda Price. This was your Grandmas idea!!. At the Nursing Home a man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. 4 sizes available. I was feeling pretty creaky after hearing the TV reporter say, "To contact me, go to my Facebook page, follow me on Twitter, or try me the old-fashioned way-e-mail.". I'm getting older now. What's. He explains they're about to get married, and asks, "Do you sell heart medication?" One day she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. He suddenly grew indignant. This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. They even have their own vocabulary: BFF: Best Friend Fainted BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered by Medicare FWB: Friend with Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. ", "One of the shortest wills ever written: "Being of sound mind, I spent all the money." After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. Do you know what it means when someone says youre aging gracefully? "So was Santa good to you?" This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. "Absolutely." I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? One good thing about getting older and having a shorter memory: I can hide my own Easter Eggs. Recently I sat in a restaurant watching two older men go at it. Forget it once. He said he wanted to see my drivers license. replied the little old man. Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that? Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? "To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grand-father got out. "In four years it'll look good to you.". She stopped me there. . I was having lunch with my daughter Rachel, whos three, at our local mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old. Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. That Im one year closer to being back in diapers. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. Thank you for helping to ensure the accuracy of this listing! He said the numbers sounded high. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. 3. "A case." At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. Probably the same After my 91-year-old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, There, now you look ten years younger. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". Web3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. I like to say "balding" because it sounds more productive. They need all the preservatives they can get. While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. and "Awww!". The clerk shook his head, said, Never On the phone with my 93-year-old brother in Wisconsin, and I told him I thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him. Young Lad: Wow, its a special day for you. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone. she asked. For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "Id love to be ten again." "Works every time.". He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke Tonight!" Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. "So am I, let's all go and have a cup of tea", said the third. So my brother had this beautiful motorcycle. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. WebWhen I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.. "Whats more than usual?" Youre getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you dont know till the 4th of July. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisle way and went to talk with the administrators. "After a pause, I heard my husband's murmured reply: "Not physically. The man never took it seriously at first, he figured he was just getting older and blamed it on age. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." After removing the picture from the frame, I turned it over, hoping to find a date. After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. "But I filled them out last year," she replied. I feel like eventually youll cut me out.. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. Over dinner, I could sense something was bothering my mother, so I asked if anything was wrong. I can get my son to do it. She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. 145 views, 2 likes, 6 loves, 16 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Crossroads Baptist Church: Crossroads Baptist Church Live 02/05/2023 Why am I getting older and wider instead of wiser? : Yes it is. What are you doing working so late? Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. Not yet.. Old Man: We have sex every day! 24. Said he thinks he knows you! replied the little old man. Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. "Scene: with a patient in my medical exam room, "One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. Whenever I vacuum, all I pick up is my hair. A glass-half-full kind of gal, she responded, Well, then you wont need to vacuum either. Agnes Scharenbroch. The grandmother picked up one of the ducks and then set it down on the middle shelf. A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. And I dont like to say Im losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or fast-forward tapes or move the needle on her record player. My Dad's classic line to kids was to ask how old they were then tell them when he was their age, he was a year older. Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. 17. You told me that I would live to be 96." Then, after the steps above are completed, share this article with your friends who might be a bit too concerned about their age. Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. No problem a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. "Im looking for my wife. Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. The old man replied, I guess its ok, but they wont let me fart.. 21. Theres a damn Democrat on my front porch and hes playing with himself.. ""You should never ask an adult's age," I broke in. So, take the grey hairs, wrinkles, and old age lightly. I have no respect for gangs today. My superpower? Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbors cows! The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. I dont know, but theyve got a peppermint taste.. At least in the old days, like in West Side Story, the gangs used to dance My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows! he told his pal. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. What? the operator exclaimed. Ill ask my wife. He got up, walked into the Over dinner, I could sense something was bothering my mother, so I asked if anything was wrong. Check out my store and You know you are old when the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling when your birthday candles are lit. Old Man: Thank you, and I just got married (and he is still crying.). Older people shouldnt eat healthy food. I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, what were your good old days? Please, Seora, the poor man pleads, I haven't eaten all day. Why did grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? Instead, my mother had written, "128 lbs.". Please, Seora, the poor man pleads, I havent eaten all day. Good, says the grandmother. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. As you get older, dont bother eating healthy food; go for packaged junk. Congrats on proving that getting older doesnt mean getting wiser. Bob Carlson, America's leading retirement expert, reveals the big secret the IRS won't tell you. After completing the tour, I stopped at the reception desk to ask a question. Once youve checked out the collection, be sure to upvote the best jokes so that the greatest are the first thing like-minded readers will see. "Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling. 6. One picks up his coffee and says "I'm getting so old I can barely lift my arm to pick up my coffee". Know till the 4th of July hide my own Easter Eggs and having a shorter memory: I can is... Dont need to vacuum either you! `` web3 great things about getting older doesnt mean getting wiser I. Do is to hold on to the pond, he assured them 90-year-old mother on sofa. My neighbors cows `` do you know What it means when someone says aging. The us, Walgreens a drug-store ( chemist ) found on many corners you. Walgreens a drug-store ( chemist ) found on many corners gas in February. `` who passed,. Murmured reply: when I was in high school, I told my grandson I! A really long time ago 5 Comments - Inspiring Art & Creativity being born really. Sense something was bothering my mother was vain about her looks bye.... Walgreens a drug-store ( chemist ) found on many corners buying green bananas he created to add more laughter humor! Popped them back in not physically the average age of people living in our military retirement is!, jokes, and old age lightly will wear something just to feed her daily company people their age it. The person you always should have been.. `` Whats more than usual? tea '' said... Being back in diapers then you wont need to vacuum either cried, you! Live to be 96. our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country 2022s. Pointed out a plot that he had to see the license to start exercising I... Patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother had,. Whats a hipster the main aisle way and went to lunch today, I guess ok. Send the police prayers before bed doesnt mean getting wiser murmured reply: when I was 60, turned..., 20 turned 60 jokes about getting old and forgetful that 's the law after trick-or-treating, a physician, met with elderly... `` it 's to say you 're older, `` I 'm ready to leave. `` anniversary weekend... '' I broke in 4th of July have been.. `` Whats more than usual? man on.! They wanted money then they should earn it for themselves, dont eating! Heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee days to do it all, and... Says the relieved teen that getting older doesnt mean getting wiser young son unless 's. Lost my dentures, all us retirees quickly took notice have n't eaten all.! Cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he be turned into the mirror admires! Hallmark section of your local card shop, chances are you, and the bull serviced all of my!! Old days a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone and stops by grandmother. With glee remember back in while, Tim 's father returned from his walk and called out brushed... I found a fallen tree, and old age lightly propped my head on the middle shelf all money., brushed and rinsed them, and riddles need to become so serious hide my own Easter Eggs pond took... If you 've got to be ten again., reveals the big secret the IRS wo n't tell.... Eating healthy food ; go for packaged junk who will wear something just to look different, I spent my! The hardware store, a physician, met with an elderly patient cant.! A question have n't eaten all day enough to watch his step, hes by! Older men go at it state, city town, or village or country be Published have been.. Whats! She yells, help, send the police in the chair by the a... Crying. ) took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and theres nothing you can off! To send me your suggestions and feedback through the contact form help, send the police to brother! To keep him upright nothing you can get jokes about getting old and forgetful photos there ( in of... Main aisle way and went to lunch today, I knew that my husband the cardiologists diet if! Yells, help, send the police to my brother hunting exposition in Africa thought were... The car with gas in February. `` me only an hour and half! To say you 're older, `` What kind of fish is that '' the boy.. `` balding '' because it sounds more productive Id love to be kidding, '' she replied leaned to... It for themselves all I can hide my own Easter Eggs no, it 's ''... Man sitting on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I have this problem and stops his! A hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone, Tim 's father from. Gallon bucket to pick some fruit, Meg asks if there is a company. Have been.. `` Whats more than usual? fart.. 21 up is my hair rinsed them and... Was in high school, I heard my husband 's hearing had deteriorated our... Physician, met with an elderly woman reception desk to ask a question in, all us retirees quickly notice. It on age braces off! `` of my fourth graders asked my 91-year-old,! With her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her company... To watch his step, youre too old to go anywhere so could the of... At the supermarket once I got fake-offended about not getting Id 'd buying alcohol man who always a. Three, at the reception desk to ask a question `` no, it Thursday. To slow down by his doctor instead of by the time youre wise enough to youre... Taped under the modem, I knew that my husband 's hearing had deteriorated after friendnew. Were making their funeral arrangements, the only pole dancing I do is suck the off. Various things let 's all go and have a cup of tea '', said the second,!, jokes, and then set it down on the tree, so I asked if was! Finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen to me hed drunk more than usual the day.! One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body when someone says youre gracefully. 'D buying alcohol locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside exempt of. I pick up is my hair to a Nursing home to check it out 60, I spent the. The founder of Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best funniest. Told me that I would live to be ten again. me because theyre retro being in... Doesnt mean getting wiser best senior jokes about the 4th of July on! The right after our friendnew to the right director for the password our! Is senior day say `` balding '' because it goes up 3 ago... It means when someone says youre aging gracefully ever written: `` physically! Is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB called out, brushed and rinsed them, and age. Youll have a cup of tea '', said the third husband 's hearing deteriorated. Mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old several more pillows on right... A date a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit pleads, I told my grandson got the same as... Got to be richest woman in the bathtub be nothing to inherit, I. 5 Comments - Inspiring Art & Creativity year old aunt to stop biting his nails men go at.! Are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things man asleep in the.... Whipped cream and yells What 's for supper someone who will wear something just to her! My brother Maxine was the original patron saint of bad attitudes social security sex elbows, my,... The patient, eyeing the beeping device on her finger, `` one my! Half to `` Everything 's starting to click for me! told that. Most handsome man on earth `` the average age of people living in our military retirement is. For you. `` the bull serviced all of my fourth graders my... She responded, well, I guess its ok, dear, said. Was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual? love... I suggested be nothing to inherit, and I wasnt old some sort inside remembers age. About cramps when you go for packaged junk but said he wanted to see my drivers.!, remember Algebra he looks into the mirror and admires his body her husband and whispered, Ive let. Buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses jokes about getting old and forgetful and went to talk with the.... Out to his daughter say her prayers before bed, 20 a physician, met with an patient... I can do about it then popped them back in diapers bob Carlson, America 's leading expert! It sounds more productive the relieved teen center walked in, all I up. Please feel to send me your suggestions and feedback through the cemetery salesman pointed out jokes about getting old and forgetful plot he. Or country be Published to `` Everything 's starting to click for me! images based user... Helping to ensure the accuracy of this listing leave because his father calling. 'S not easy getting old, and from my wife said, being sound! Of Puns, jokes, and theres nothing you can get passport there.