bro be quiet how would you feel if your wife bumped into a ex and got all happy over it? For example, are you afraid you won't be good enough and she'll leave, breaking your heart? If you really want to develop as a person, consider what it is about you that makes you feel so unhappy with the ideas you've mentioned. IT SHOWS TOOI PREFER TO OFFER MY FUTURE SPOUSE A TIGHT POCKET BOOK NOT A BUCKET. So, I think it is a bad idea to encourage women to be promiscuous and to encourage men to date these women. Women have stooped down to men and act like pigs now. attractive to a potential suitor. There really is no advice. And you, or any other woman can do whatever she wants, and be as promiscuous as she wants. Just judging by how erratic, panicky and rather desperate you have written your message above. Its like seeing a movie, all is in the past. Thank you for your comment it is one of the most spot on and helpful in the thread. Not always, but often. Men are not exempt! and some are looser on the how-many-is-to-many question. In the end your selling yourself short. confines of marriages, or at least committed, loving relationships at the HOWEVER, if the candidate was honest about their past and they were suitable, they stand as good a chance as any.. for their own well being and for that matter Animals in nature **** and get the hell on and have never had a problem I dont know why humans try to put themselves so high on the food chain of nature. I completely understand where you are coming from Jeraldel and I assure you I will address these issues moving forward. Rich, sexual prowess and even sexual organ size Its an individual thing as to how they perceive themselves. For instance, you are judging that other woman for judging other women. You should have an idea that its not a good look. Some may argue that it speaks to her character. 151 views, 6 likes, 8 loves, 22 comments, 4 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Miller Memorial Baptist Church: Sunday, February 26, 2023~ Reverend. Take care. Good luck!! Society many times likes to just default to the answer on the surface, rather than go deeper to fully understand what truly is causing a problem or disconnect. By your logic she could look at you and say wow what a loser he's only ever had one person interested in him. So does that mean that once you accumulate some baggage that you are stuck with it forever? I am pointing out that sex is vastly different for men and women.. That is how we are made.. She claimed that her promiscuity was in the past, but later on I found out it was still in her present. I think many married couples lack a connection. Yes, they will try to have their cake and eat it too, once they realize the error of their ways, but by then, its too late. Fourth, I work globally. What would Jesus do? I told her that unless she knew those particular girls background, she really had no basis to formulate a judgment. This is not the ideal number, but the threshold number as to how I can only hope altamera74 read your reply. All in all I just dont feel we should be looking at the amount of men Some of us have led quite successful lives, and have leisure time. You see great qualities in everyone, and then you continue to look for them in others. The number is certainly not all that matters. It is difficult for women like that to pair-bond. Hell she wasnt ashamed when she was an easy A in her past so yes it does matters and shes not gon enjoy sex omce she settles down cause shes played out already man come on get real could have wrote a better article cause this is a dumb article for real Im a woman an I damn for sure dont blame a man r anyone else for judging a hoe because even if she changes she still gon have that name for herself all because of her past with numerous of men and ppl are going to judge her off that til shes deadand gone dummy. Make Him Worship the Ground You Walk On! I believe yours is as well. To a guy it does matter. Women never need to work to get sex. The people that hurt you had there own issues that they never resolved, so their actions were not a reflection on you or your worth as a person. Uhh, read again. If I am feeling someone and want to have sex, then so be it. So I completely understand where you are coming from and again I think it is a very good arguement. Stephan, I am intrigued by your comment that you disagree that promiscuity is what has caused the highest divorce rate America has ever seen. There is a current trend not only in the U.S., but also in the UK called the marriage strike.A lot of men will not marry because of fear of divorce initiated by women who are unable to stay connected emotionally to their husbands (due to a high number of sexual partners) and therefore seek comfort else where. I understand the value of myself, we all make mistakes, but the underline issue is not excused for neither party. To use the analogy of work, yes, fair comment. Dont judge. You are also correct about women who men know have gotten around will have a much harder time finding a man, which is why most women lie and will take some of these secrets to their grave. Excellent. As long as you can be faithful to the person youre with, whatz the problem?? No ones fully mature in their 20s. Thing is, a mistake can cost you plenty in life jobs being one of them. They give birth. There are women who have been with very few men and still experience the same issues. I know that might scare you, so you are reacting defensively, but its just the truth. I want to marry someone different from me: a woman. As for a woman leading you on to believe she passed that stage, well she may just not have wanted to let you pass her by even though she knows she wasnt ready. Honestly, those dudes sound kinda suspectbut I was never the type to try to train a girl either. That to me just doesnt seem like it is the best way to go about things, but that is my opinion and I will respect yours. lol Its cool man, I can see where somebody could view it as that. This is the difference between you and some other posters. Choosing a good partner can have a major impact on your well-being. No dice. Some women can be a virgin and have all kinds of issues due to other experiences in their life, while a woman may have once been promiscuous, turned away from that and now is in a much better place mentally and emotionally. No. Being sojudgmentalcan cause anyone to miss on on great things. There are women who have been with one man, and have gotten an STD. If she is everything you would want a woman to be and currently shares your same values. Declines to tell their significant other, then it means that they are not open and willing to be honest about their passed. But what about the woman who is completely secure with herself, single, and likes to have sex. When done, breath deeply,. Being old-fashioned is not an excuse. When trading up becomes so easy in society who has the time to work on whatever issues they have. But once you get into the booty call territory, or some other lines of just having sex with men because it is satisfying makes men look at you cynically. Im gone from a serious thing..dont get me wrong, ill keep her around and have sex with her, but no emotion will be devoted to her. Its fucking difficult to deal with no matter how much you love them. . On the surface all may look well, but when you go deeper many women will acknowledge they were never truly in love or connected with their mate. My opinion, the past is what shapes us, it is how we use that and apply it to our future that defines us. This sort of behavior is causing the highest divorce rate America has ever seen. You slept with so many people? Then I sincerely hope that you school these same alpha men to not share their masculinity so freely with any slut that crosses their path and opens their legs. Women, on the other hand, are the gatekeeper to their bodies, because of the risk in any sexual encounter. He already feels guilty and deeply regrets disappointing you. I disagree 100%. All I am saying in the article is that who she once was isnt always who she is now. Sure, that is what many men (especially those who are getting up there) say. I see what you're saying about burning the toxic feelings and I agree 100% I want to get rid of them and out of this mindset very badly and even from what I've read thus far this thread and people input have helped me to frame my thoughts a lot. Im careful, clean and single,,,and always manage pretty alright. Also if we take a spiritual perspective, then let me add that we all live in sin. The guys just choose to be promiscuous anyway because of false man-made teaching. I asked her to swear on her deceased grandfathers grave and on our relationship to tell the truth and she swore it was 11. The worst part of this is having to act like I don't care about any of this stuff to her as that quite honestly could only hurt what we are trying to build if I show that I am insecure about this. How can that be true when most divorces end for financial reasons?Plus most women cheat because they are being emotionally neglected at home.I just dont know how you would think that most divorces occur because women who have slept around a lot arent satisfied with being with just one man.Where did this all come from? I'm looking for ways to reflect on this situation so I can movie forward in not let my toxic behavior leak out. It is much easier for a woman to sleep with a random man than vice versa. You still come right? Everything you could ask for and more. All by the help of the Queen mother . Im just curiouswhat is your take on any of your male gender having premarital sex? I agree women would get jealous as well and prefer that men dont have much of a past that they have to compete with. around, her value diminishes in terms of her being less chaste, which is less I was married before her and would still be married had my first wife been half the woman she is! I don't see any way that telling her my feelings about this ends well. Or why jobs do background checks or the existence of credit scores. She is still the amazing woman you love and she can still function the same way she always has with you. It has been made apart of this life, but not apart of eternal life..We have one teacher here that JESUS and HE knows more about the subject than you do.In The Book of Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers GOD will judge. In todays day and age sex dominates our society. Modern times, have Because even if it hurts, as you stated it will help you rebuild and move in a better direction. Unless you are interested in being swingers, your best bet would be to only get involved with someone who has a solid sense of morality. Now, I have many days where I just tell myself to avoid the shame and anger of what my decisions were and just live as a single person for life, including total abstinence. that doesnt mean that they should deny themselves regular sex of a relationship and it doesnt make them sl*ts or *ssh*les but at least there confident and enjoy themselves. I cried in front of my English teacher (badly), Do men act like jerk on purpose after sex. Women, she says, tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness. someone to come along and love you for who you are? However, most men will always respect more the woman who has the discipline, self-restraint, and dignity to not give in to the lust temptation juts because shes horny. What a feminist wet dream Maybe it should not matter but it does. Its like buying a car with 1,000,000 miles on the odometer lol!!! I wish the world was different where women could be free to live sexually without being labeled as sluts, used, emotional detached, etc. Never thought at 39 there would be so many issues when going into a relationship but I am learning quickly. Women have the choice to say, yup im gonna let this guy inside me. Whats the point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners??? Its like me saying, The sky often appears blue. It matters to me because I purposely don't sleep around. Yes he was obviously more attractive than you, 'Just have girls asking you for 3somes, why isn't every guy doing this? You telling me number of sexual partners is not important is like telling me how many devorces she had is not important. I guess in the perfect society women and men would be equals, history aside. I sell hairs now. more imperative because, if given a choice, men will choose the more virtuous I was totally promiscuous in the years between my junior year of high school and my first year and a half of college, sleeping with as many men as would opportunity present, which came to total around eight. You have many women who feel they should not have to spell out those needs, and you have many men who assume if she hasnt specifically said it then there is nothing they may be overlooking. I guess it depends how you define tha. And they be passing around STDs. cant hold it against the woman I love. As one commenter posted, were all adults so I say do as you please. Later they got their act together, graduated high school, and got their masters degree. Be very wary of that. Well, let me tell you what i mean She used to introduce me to her exs here and there and i had no problems with thathowever, she met one of my exs once and I was in the dog house for a week, verbal abuse beyond verbal abuseIt was ok for her to flirt because she wasnt going to have sex with them, but if i even looked at a girl or talked to a girl or commented about a girl in a movie a week of hell would start!This is really just a sample of things that turned to be the double standard in our relationship. And, if we try to claim that we haven't ..then, guess what? Whats cool is a man being willing to marry a woman he genuinely loves and connects with regardless of how she once was in the past. Thank you, Lord, for resurrecting from the dead. I dont want a woman that thinks that giving herself up so easy is how its supposed to be. Live up those spring break days if you must, but If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. If sex shouldnt be used to judge someone then nothing else about that persons past should be of any relevance because after all, theyre in the past. The fluids can be washed off easily by men, however the mans fluids or remnants of it can remain inside the woman for years before it can leave her system. And, yes, you should know. Great article. Most of you would reply yes. We need to take a better approach and that is all I am truly trying to convey. issuesshe is not responsible, etc. But she was still a really nice lady, and from what I hear pretty good at sex. lover constantly complains that you nag them, try and find ways to fix this Sex isnt just for men. If nothing else you From my experience and what i have seen the way a person behaves is a big issue. Women who have had a high number of sexual partners usually have little respect for their bodies or their lives in general. Just go. I suggest maybe going to a counselor or therapist that can help you both get through this. low tiers don't even exist in their world they are completely invisible and when they are forced to notice our existence they don't see us as human they se us as inanimate objects to just deal with and make go away asap they know nothing about what the life of a man is like, This is why they say shit like "why are you guys so upset just use tinder to get threesomes every weekend what's wrong teehee" because every guy who exist in theyre world can do stuff like that. It's more likely that my comments are going to garner negativity but I think it's good to have a healthy view on such things. Blanksie_11 you make excellent points and I do not disagree with you. You say its not worth walking away from a woman you genuinely connect with. a man after sex, and not valuing her as the woman she is inside. My ex-husband of 7 years was very well endowed and my current significant other is very much under-endowed, but the sex is just as enjoyable, if not more so. Probably not while having sex with her either. Regardless what women think or how women seal most men would never accept or be comfortable with their mate havent slept with 30/100,000,000 in her lifetime. Fast Stream 2023 (Reinstated) applicants thread. Judging right away could end up getting in the way of an opportunity to know a really great person. These views are unrealistiic. There is simply so much that goes along with the number. I want to dedicate long term to this girl as that is what I like to do when I commit to a relationship but I'm terrified that I will end up wasting a large amount of time on a girl who will end up cheating on me or blowing up in my face. This article is not about telling woman to do as they please or to promote promiscuity. Again I am not saying go out there and be loose just addressing your point about the wear and tear. Mentally.not so much. is NOT okay to act as if it doesnt count because it was in your past. forgotten how to be committed. Granted, I still think one should be cautious when deciding to pursue a relationship with someone who has a promiscuous past, making sure that that phase of their life is over. The willingness to speak truth and the bravery to acknowledge it is paramount. Wouldnt you feel like you are worthless? I dated a woman most wouldn't consider a beauty, but she was smart and funny and great in bed. I believe most men would prefer this. But I notice that its mostly inexperienced and insecure men who seem to be the most concerned about it. made and consequences stem from them. Last I checked, its not easy finding a men to love whom you can then share your love of sex with. Trust me I completely understand that most of us would prefer our partners didnt have active sex lives prior to being with us. Same boat. Amen brother. Why do you like her? Ladies, as a Man with successful experience, KEEP THOSE LEGS CLOSED until you find the right Man. I would suggest understanding what trust, love, respect, communication, and support actually mean and how they function. Finally one day it comes out, and the number is higher than you thought or like. Men get to play while we sit at home waiting for our love? It does matter how many men, a woman Now the real problem is that not only are these type of women promiscuous, they lie about that number. lol But, even tho guys work harder at it I still think its a little anti-social for even guys. So that we, too, can be raised with you on the last day! someone, you want to not only know about who they are, but who they Excessive promiscuity is linked directly to narcissism and mental instability. Okay okay, maybe that is a bit extreme. Reply 122. THANK YOU DEEDEE26I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS 37 AND IS A VIRGINONE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A VIRGIN BUT I APPLAUD WOMEN LIKE YOU WHO HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHERIF WE LOWERED OUR NUMBERS MORE MAYBE THEVALUE WOULD GO BACK UP! I understand that, that may have not been what you were implying but the implication is there. How very sad. How about a thief? Its the woman you wanted. If being old-fashioned for a woman means not being a slut, then old-fashioned will always be in style when men look for a mate to settle down with. One would have to define perfect first. I literally threw up. C) Two long-term sex partners, had sex a total of 100 times, and many were threesomes? Now should people be out there hoin it, no but look at our oversexed society; chances are whoever you get may have some miles! And because women economically couldnt take care of themselves and would have been shunned by their communities, women were forced to stay in their marriage. That's why I am so thankful that I have Jesus as my perso. The woman you marry gets excited about marriage and starting a family with you. We should strive to be righteous. So even if a man views you as equal, his desire to not want to see the women he wants go outside his desired perception of her is to make her feel like she is nothing but a whore if she dares cross that line. Im a small endowed male. These are odds I wouldnt take. If you are that Datson? I respected her view so much. Enter your info below and join my VIP list. I could go on forever but Ill stop here. If you couldnt deal with your problems then, how is somebody else suppose to trust you with that later? I personally would have never dated a guy who has slept around a lot. are is the number that would still be acceptable to most. If you arent proud of your number when I asked by a potential life partner, you could be a slut. What you do with your body matters. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Yep! You wont be fully satisfied until youve found every single one of those great qualities all bunched up into one person. However, a guy can be just as much of a slut as a gal. love you back! Have you been on cdc.gov lately or follow @cdcstd on twitter? I am coming from a place that is old-minded and is small island, so something like dis should spoil your name and make u feel embarassed even if for you wasnt that big deal.. On d other hand tho you cant judge a woman by that, but society does, no matter what so its better to think wisely before you do. They either find out later and it becomes a big issue, or they never find out but its those secrets that at times manifest into other issues. Her sexual promiscuity or lack there of does not control control his actions or level of respect. issue out, then you should get out. ive slept with 14 guys and im still tight and ocasionally asked if im a virgin. If a woman was promiscuous and had sex with numerous men, she was a bad mate choice due to the fact that he may be mistakenly wasting his resources raising another mans child(ren). She kind of a whore an unpaid whore. Im not bitter, Im BETTER andin retrospect, I can say this: as a man, it is impossible for me to love a woman more than I trust her. Its not unusual for women in my age bracket (53) to have had 100 men! Why invest your time, emotion and energy into a person who does not share the same sexual compatibility that you do because you naively want to believe that how many people she has slept with doesnt matter. I think we should always evaluate the individual for who they are right now. Its not the most important factor. Women can sleep with men to get what they want and then dump them. total. Im always honest with him about everything but this is the one thing Im taking to the grave. So with that, is nobody worthy of redemption or are we to judge people on their past and hold their previous mistakes over their heads forever? My friend hoes often do not look like hoes.. but they still are and you excel in other areas it can balance this out. I think Im old enough to understand that and act accordingly. He is happy, so should the number hold that much power and the relationship end? You have people like me who respect your choice and who understand what you are going thru. Have you ever heard of kegel exercises? It does not matter if a women thinks average is great, or claims that, it only matters that in our male mind we dont like feeling insecure with the women that should make us feel secure every time we engage in the most intimate of acts with her for the rest of our life. For instance a girl had sex with 20 men(but we dont know numbers) and they were all her boyfriends then in that case she wouldnt be a hoe. For some reason, people think that its only THEM that are having sex and anyone else who does is disgusting. It would best be done in the Its expensive, time consuming, heart wrenching and horrible for children and most normal people actually dont want to put themselves nor their families through it if they can help it. People learn and grow from their experiences. Some people just dont deal with relationships well. So youre in love and want the relationship to work. End of story. Would it really be wise to now walk away from her simply because an actual number is revealed. Oh, you gave all your goods outwhen I didnt but I should be accepting of that? This is a really touchy issue for me. Im surprised by the comments Ive seen so far! It is made to push out babies the size of basketballs and then revert back to its normal size. One of the reasons I think it makes me feel like shit is because the girls that I missed out on lost interest in me for better guys, guys that know how to get laid I hated those guys, and those are the kind of guys that have been with my wife just imagining it makes me feel sick, to think shes fucked some hot shot big dick whos probably fucked 100 other chics anyway and just adder her to his belt. God created us all to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes to become better people. Again there is much more that can be said about this study and this topic. I often think about the young ladies who were sexually abused in the youth, or who were taught sex is the only way to love or keep someone. If your 30 and you had sex with 45 people, If so, thats not love. Yeah, but it does and that's the way a lot of people think. It would be a lot easier to have a healthy attitude about others sex lives if we can accept our own without pressure to be a certain way by the world around us. I do not believe I will continue with my girlfriend as I've found other options who do have problems like everybody else but however don't carry such a burden like my current girl. As promiscuous as men are! Either way u go science or religion pretty much states the same thing. They're your property. They are basically acting like many men have for ages. I dont even make eye contact with other men. Yoomy situation is differentthis girl actually wants me to wants on her till shes done having fun (sleeping around) too settle down with me..i thing thats disgustingand its not worth it. It will all be fake just to keep the sex around. Do me a favor and email me this question to advice@stephanspeaks.com Im having all advice questions directed there. Its profitable and acceptable. I have female friends who have only been with a few partners and THOSE are the women who fantasize about cheating the most! If you don't identify with this kind of perspective then what is it about her that you value? Instead of making the number of guys/gals she/he has been with a deal I actually thought it was clever. womens promiscuity does not fit nicely into the fabricated utopia we So happy for you. Isnt it women who tell men & society: You cant tell me what to do w/ my body?Especially when it comes to pregnancy & abortion?Therefore women are admitting that having a womb comes w/ having more responsibility. I completely agree with you that a womans sexual health (i.e. Then she knocked on a door and a guy in his underwear opened it, and she walked in and closed the door. the article was written by a man, which happens to be me. The man is going to think that the woman might not I will never marry a girl who waspromiscuousin the past. I have a 13-year-old daughter. I met her online, she opened up to me pretty much straight away and has always been very honest with me. Wear and tear is evident on me too, example what if they give a woman an STDs that wear and tear hun. Saying that if you have good communication with her and can get a sense of her values maybe it can be worked out, I understand what you're trying to say, I think. LOL. a person who's had a lot of relationships or encounters doesn't make them a cheater especially if they were honest and up front. This is because the kind of ppl who would say things like "dating a slut" view a woman sleeping with others casually as this terrible dirty thing. So the only difference between there relationship now, and there relationship if the truth came out, will be how he decides to let a number affect the way he moves forward with her. That wear and tear hun 's the way a person behaves is a bit extreme you! Many partners????????????????... Life jobs being one of those great qualities all bunched up into one interested... On this situation so I can see where somebody could view it as that and encourage. 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