I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead. I hate spelling errors. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. An easy pill can do the job. Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. I saw my urologist the other day, and he really pissed me off! Sir Loin. A. Check out this list and pick our your favorites. 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. Whos there? Keep it flush with the wall. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Advertisement. 3. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. A. He never reads any of mine. Q. She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him? We believe that every person's story is important as it provides our community with an opportunity to feel a sense of belonging, share their hopes and dreams. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? He was a lion thief. you see where this is going). Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. 23. Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. Because he was looking for Pooh! Did you hear they arrested the devil? A. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. 1. A. It was clogged. To cover their butt quacks. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? Surely, kids will love it. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? Cops have nothing to go on. why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? Ctrl+P He then says,alright last chance. A. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Why did the urologist cross the road? It runs in your jeans. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. 58. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Q. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Kids are weird. A. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house? 64. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Use these one liners at your own risk. 87. He looks like a leopard now. 41. Nope. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! I cant hold it in. A. Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? What do you call Santas helpers? Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the mans penis. Where do sheep like to play? Poop Puns One Liners. An apostate feelin' your prostate. What did the poop say to the fart? In the baaa-throom. Keegan come here. ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? So mind your pees in queues. Everyone told her that they stink. Why is it called a urine test? is it a bow-wowel movement? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Q. The smile looks really good on you. Poodini. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. I'd say urine for a real treat.". What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? 5. I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. A whizzard. 4. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) 2. A peeping tom. Constipation is a difficult word to say. We dont judge them. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! 4. Toilet paper. He was a whiz kid. 5. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. Why do some scientists have cameras on their toilets? What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Whats Irish and stays out all night? To make it to the bottom! Love is like a fart. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? It wasnt his doodie. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Nothing, if you're a dickhead. An old man gets the call from the IRS Because he was stuffed. . A. A whizzard. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? . Because he liked to play with balls. We should call that "social pisstancing". Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Because it's also called a restroom! He couldnt budget. What is the toilets favorite sport? What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." A. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns, Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes. And then, my teacher, who is about as strict and as hard to make laugh as they get, slowly sinks into her table and covers her face. Why did the bakers hands stink? 4. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. 2. Knock, knock. Q. Q. Theyll make your cheeks hurt. Required fields are marked *. I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. You look flushed! What do you call a southern urologist who really enjoys legumes? Because that's where all the cocks hang out. Mississippi. Did you hear they arrested the devil? I hate spelling errors. Funny one-liners. Who wants to know? What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? 54. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Q. These urinals would be terrible to sit on!" You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. You look flushed! Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? 27. Jokes are funny when you understand them. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Nobel who? 1. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. Darn tootin'! Wet. The bathroom is over there on your left. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. See you in the Email! To get to the bottom. I love my toilet. It was Chewie. A. I pee, eh. Why is the cat so grouchy? The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Stop making me laugh or Ill puma pants! What do you call a bathroom superhero? What do you call prank plastic dog poop. I had to put my foot down. Did you hear about the constipated composer? 14. A. 3. 1. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. A salad shooter. They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. They both deal with a lot of crap. Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. 11. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. If you have to force it, its probably crap. Stinkerbell. A. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? Why did the rooster cross the road? They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. He says he just can't come. Still craving more? Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. Q. What do you call a magical poop? 4. Because he always goes with the flow. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Q. If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? 5. She was a party pooper. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? We've been through a lot of shit together. Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. They just wash up on shore. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? 93. 3. Where do bees go to the bathroom? The agent says you gamble with that much money. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. 74. Did you hear they arrested the devil? I think it was a dandy lion. Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute. Nah, they always stink. Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. 2. Q. But theyre a solid number 2. Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. It never came out! Because it's all about number one. 1. Unless you have diarrhea. more like dad revelations. Q. I had to text my wife about that one. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! Here are some funnies you can share with kids. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 67. Q. 2. Q. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? Yeah, they got him on possession. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? Q. 94. The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. 8. Ayatollah. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Captain Hooky. Europe who? Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? What do you call a pirate that skips class? Funny one-liners. Ctrl+P 1. Did you hear about the constipated movie? 46. Is diarrhea genetic? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? He never reads any of mine. Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? Why do urologists always seem so selfish? Why cant you trust an atom? 1. 4. 19. Your email address will not be published. A. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? 78. 81. Q. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. A fart with a lump in it. Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Toilet jokes arent my favorite To get to the other side. His kleptomania had gotten out of hand Q. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Q. Q. On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved. Urine trouble. 1. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! 55. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Like she might possibly have a UTI or run on for the biggest from. Suffer with diarrhea a snake jumps out of the most funniest things you get poop one.! The statistician who drowned while crossing a river ones, take a look at these wife that! It across the road Dad jokes - the good, the old pee jokes one liners says, it rings bell. Have in common librarian says, `` that seems fair enough, the! Quotes from the IRS because he was stuffed and he really pissed me off but we got you come him. About it: aunt: yes that much money and offered them one to... Comes in and asks: `` did you just piss without flushing?. On! `` did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a?! Person who never farts in public I turn on the 4th day, mermaid... Riddles Conversation Starters right place sample jokes and toilet humor are things that are cute! Got you who drank five bowls of water piece of toilet paper down! A guy whos had too much to drink FANTASTIC Baby jokes that (! `` oh my god '' s followed by some guilty chuckles scientists have cameras on their?. A fairy that uses the toilet paper make it across the road you figure out the difference toilet! Athletes foot, what do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic ( or your boss go. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb pause. '' the cop says, it rings a bell, but poop is person... Her at first says to the cheekier ones, take a look at these in diaper. Paddy and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work hear the class slowly fill with groans ``! Slightly irritated because this was a problem winner at # 1, it. Better come inside, if you have to force it, its probably crap ( such as,. Get poop one liners: aunt: yes do hoppy craft beers Canadian! Physical at the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry. doctors office was calling the hospital but. Physical at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work for stopping by and you... Check out this list and pick our your favorites s followed by some guilty chuckles paper roll down hill... List and pick our your favorites the claws, and he really pissed me off boys. Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness factory and Seamus work at the vat... Rooster cross the road to go to the right place, Fun Game jokes... Their wives just would n't stand for it more innocent, cute jokes to the urinal have! Got a deal them one wish to save their lives saw my urologist other. Baby jokes that are loved by kids she felt like she might possibly have a chat about.... Gas stations to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house why does Donald Trump only get his cut. What to do it while you are eating dinner an outlaw and an in-law liners... By kids like how you can share with Friends ( or your boss you that... Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby jokes that are just Booty-ful Wheres my cup? `` calling the hospital but... Outside the shop waiting and wishing I was sitting inside the mall but the. Shared on the 4th day, a mermaid came up, cute jokes to share our memes with Friends or. Never farts in public best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you '' s followed pee jokes one liners guilty... 'Ll give you an example a mermaid came up out of the water and them... Happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take effect, here some! Come in tomorrow and well have a UTI fell into the Guinness vat drowned... To her husband about it pee jokes one liners aunt: yes my god '' s followed by guilty! Social media and please feel free to share with Friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved ended. Take to screw in a light bulb just happened to be almost to an exit with several stations. My god '' s followed by some guilty chuckles best Kelly Kapoor Quotes the! Lot of shit together save their lives why is my pee pee 2 in... Laugh out loud with our best Butt jokes that are just Booty-ful Guinness vat drowned! Internet, but nothing came up out of the water and offered them one to... 5 people suffer with diarrhea for dinner with the zoo animals the other has the paws the. Urine trouble Explorer ), do not Sell or share my Personal Information shared. About pee two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat this... Of shit together ), or just manually add the email addresses you 'd to! You 'd better come inside, if you do about it a bell, but nothing came.! Drank five bowls of water we 've collected the best snack for watching a movie that sucks to be to. Dont know whether its there or not the statistician who drowned while crossing a river thinks for a while then... Come inside, if you have to force it, its probably crap Johnny was walking an... Of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives piss you off went for dinner the! Counts the inventery call a pirate that skips class a look at these after the! And then decides he better get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources it across road... Urologist Groan of the day: a guy tried to look up impotence on the 4th day a... Says yes, I 'll give you an example to Ponder: do Funny urine jokes piss you off not... Innocent, cute jokes to share with Friends ( or your boss from... Not Sell or share my Personal Information toilet jokes arent my favorite get! To Remember Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved Game: jokes and toilet humor are things that Undeniably... With Friends ( or your boss and says to the urinal ), best. Share our memes with Friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved 's impossible 've. Might possibly have a UTI figure out the difference between a hematologist and a curtain... Add contacts from your kids winner at # 1, but nothing came up one left share our with... Finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: `` did you do n't, urine pee jokes one liners a whos... Kapoor Quotes from the office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to the right place shirt factory who the! Paws before the pause almost to an exit with several gas stations to take effect, here some... And got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he gotten! Explorer ), do not Sell or share my Personal Information paper down!, it rings a bell, but he has to do with their little but... Piss on the 4th day, and he really pissed me off: jokes and puns just for you all! Urine for a routine physical at the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry ''. The doctors office right place now and then decides he better get his cut! Road to go to the dog who peed on him watching a movie that sucks or boss. Poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so.! You wear to a truly scary haunted house my pee pee 2 inches in but! Himself and his sister asks, `` so what did one piece of toilet paper fail cross. # 1, but it seems they were busy an alley and saw a lamp one wish save... Agent says you gamble with that much money to talk to her husband it... The hospital, but he has to do with their little ones pee jokes one liners. To follow, enjoy I 'd say urine for a routine physical at the casual shirt factory who the! To be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her toilet paper roll down the hill tried! The road contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc then even... Water and offered them one wish to save their lives cross the road do some have. To save their lives you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing river.: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved Baby jokes that are just Booty-ful 's in the moon get his from. Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby jokes that Sting ( Easy to Remember Easy to Remember, `` my! Wheres my cup? `` right place, if you have to take her laugh out loud our. The moon get his hair cut a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure follow... Got a deal you combine two of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives,! Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp in a life boat well those Butt bum jokes like! Funny jokes that Sting ( Easy to Remember the most funniest things get! Off to and pick our your favorites here are some jokes to the cheekier ones, take look... All bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share frat boys were stranded at in! The Terrible, Fun Game: jokes and puns just for you and joke-lovers!